Have you ever gotten on the wrong side of an INTJ and have no idea why? There can be several explanations for this INTJ behavior which have _nothing_ to do with your actions or behavior including:
- The natural introvert need to spend time alone to regain energy
- Really interesting thoughts/work consuming most of the INTJ's attention (this usually happens in relatively short bursts)
- Imagine watching a season finale of your favorite sport or being engrossed in a movie and then having someone come up to you and start a casual conversation. It is the same to an INTJ as hard as that must be for others to imagine.
- INTJs just don't show emotion or facial expressions as readily as other personality types and are often mischaracterized as being aloof or angry when they are not
- A stressed INTJ may be more withdrawn than normal
- Pushy salespeople
- Surprises
- We are big fans of planning and not being spontaneous in general
- Don't make decisions for us
- We dislike getting gifts, as it burdens us with the need to reciprocate
- Let's just pretend that we both got each other gifts (that 99% of the time we don't like), returned them and call it even without actually going through the hassle.
- We dislike holidays in general (Halloween is an exception, it is fun!)
- Consumer driven holidays are the worst! I hate being "forced" into buying something for someone for no apparent reason on a given day of the year. I would rather see something that the recipient would like and buy it for them at that point. Doesn't that require more thought and care than pulling a gift lever on a certain day?
- We hate small talk, gossip, superficial social rules and relationship/people talk
- We get particularly annoyed by attacks on our intelligence, competence, and integrity
- We hate it when people try to manipulate us
- Seriously, don't do this, we are largely immune to those tactics and we will think less of you for trying it
- Insincerity, lying and backstabbing even if it isn't directed at us
- People interfering with our alone time
- People who are chronically late
- I like the old saying that if you aren't 5-10 minutes early, you are late!
- People who talk incessantly. We will just engage our “nod and smile” autopilot and mentally go somewhere else.
- People who are incompetent, closed minded or arrogant
- Superficiality
- Emotional manipulation especially from salespeople. We have zero tolerance for pushy salespeople.
- People who waste our time (often salespeople, see a theme?)
- We do not respect nonsensical rules, social "norms" or regulations just because they are there
- Do not expect us to respect title or chain of command; it must be earned
- Decisions or reasoning based on emotion
- Highly structured environments with no room to uniquely solve a problem or improve process
- Inefficiency
- I think INTJs are almost OCD about making things run efficiently; really!
- Manual or repetitive labor that can be automated
- Personal questions unless they come from a close friend
- Public criticism or trying to learn something new in front of a crowd
- I may be weird here but I generally dislike public praise as well
- Meetings without clear goals, especially auto-repeating meetings
- Being pigeon-holed into specific positions or roles
- Aggressive behavior used to circumvent logical analysis
- Example: The person who pounds the table loudest or yells the loudest in a meeting decides direction
- Randomly choosing direction or "shotgun approach" on projects to "see what sticks"
- Open/distracting work environments; we value privacy
- Forced and spontaneous brainstorming sessions without a chance to prepare in advance
- Speaking "off the cuff" in a meeting; we prefer email where we can collect our thoughts
- Phone calls (this must sound strange but text or email is much more efficient usually and the small talk can be avoided)
- Not being valued especially in the workplace
- We work hard to make efficient processes that run themselves so it is often not apparent how much work the INTJ put into setting everything up as it runs so smoothly
- Leaving things open and unresolved
- We want to cross items off the list as being resolved to focus on the next item
- Messiness (we are organizers)
- Being interrupted
- I just saw a quote recently that sums it up perfectly: "Excuse me, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the start of yours?"
- No notice of upcoming changes or a little time to internalize the change
- Too much work load which causes the INTJ perfectionism to be discarded due to lack of time
- Lack of meaningful achievement on a pretty regular basis
- When someone answers a different question than what was asked or an attempt to "baffle you with B.S."
- Having to repeat ourselves or thinking that we are not being heard
I got some pet peeves from The Complete Idiot's Guide to the INTJ although most of this list is my own.